32087287_1406285879507244_2557897859378708480_n

I’m not waiting for a hero. I saved myself long ago.  I don’t need someone to complete me. I am whole alone. I just want a weirdo to go on adventures with. Someone who will dance with me, kiss me when I least expect it and make me laugh.  – Brook Hampton

This 1000% This!!  As I mentioned in my last reflection post, I’ve thought about my future relationships a lot the last several weeks. I don’t know how many times I have said I wish I could go back to being 20 and know then what I know now.  Then sitting here thinking about that statement, its true, I am not 20, my body, my mind, my soul are all SO much older. I’m not looking for someone to be a husband and father.  Frankly I don’t know that I ever plan to get married again.  I’m certainly not chasing a ring and I don’t necessarily feel like marriage equals happily ever after.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m anti marriage, I’m just saying its no longer that “goal” for me, and if I should be so lucky as to find someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with, it doesn’t have to be in a marriage.   So, even though I can’t go back 20 years, I can take what I have learned about the world and more importantly myself over the last 20 years and search for that person that I want to be my last love.

I want someone who is laid back and not afraid to be goofy and weird with me!  I refuse to be “normal” for anyone.  I want someone who I feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with, even when it scares the hell out of me.  I want someone who has a life of their own and doesn’t need me to be attached at the hip to them or need me to be their life support so they can breathe.  I want someone who will never try to control me or smother me.  I want someone who understands when I say “I’m on my way” I may or may not be still searching for my keys (because I NEVER know where my keys are) and once I find them I’ll go back for things I forgot a couple of times; or in some cases still running around getting ready, but I mean it…I’m working on it, I will be on my way….shortly! I want someone who isn’t afraid to let me chase my dreams and grow, but will be supportive of them.  I want someone who appreciates the need for people to miss each other.  I want someone who realizes “quality” time is very important to me, so no need to try to “buy me”.  I could careless about going out to dinner or most “date” type things.  I am not very comfortable with “gifts”.  For me it’s just really all about the quality of the time spent.   I want someone who looks at me and feels as lucky to be my guy as I am to be their girl. I want someone who I have such an amazing chemistry with that other people can see it and wish they had what we have too.

Who knows if this person is out there or more importantly if they are if they’d want me too, but there is such a peace in knowing what you WANT and being OK tossing aside those people who don’t fit that criteria, because you know you don’t NEED anyone. I’m my own hero, I complete myself.