courage horse

May has been a roller coaster of a month.  The house went through yet another major change after finally settling into a comfortable happiness, my oldest returned from college, had a rough start to his summer and announced he would not be returning to college in the fall. Pile that on top of the already crazy end of the school year happenings and my 3rd job starting.  I was just on emotional overload.

In the midst of all this craziness I was facing another decision I needed to make.  A friend of mine after listening to me go round and round about what I should do, why I should or shouldn’t do these things, and also discussing the logic that running away from the decision was the best and most adult way to handle it, she gave me a great piece of advice.  It should be noted that I have still not taken this advice on the given issue, and am still pretty much thinking running is the best option, BUT it was still great advice. “10 second of insane courage”, she said 10 seconds of insane courage was all I needed.  Just take a deep breathe, gather all your courage and do it! Maybe if she hadn’t used the word insane I could have done it, ha!  NOPE who am I kidding!

So thinking about how horrible I am with making decisions.  Most of the time, I’m so afraid to make the wrong choice, that I never make a choice at all.  I simply sit in this limbo wanting to do something, but fear of failure or rejection stops me in my tracks.  It gets me nowhere.  In fact, 9 times out of 10, I end up completely regretting not making a decision to just go for something.  Either the moment has passed, the opportunity is gone, or circumstances change making it impossible.

Thinking back on life, how many times did I not go to the tryout, apply for the job, take the new job or start a new career, tell someone how I felt about them, file for divorce sooner, the list just goes on.  In every single case, if I had simply took a deep breath and gave myself 10 seconds of courage to do the thing, I would still be alive, regardless of the outcome!  My fear of failure or rejection has stolen more from me then the actual failure or rejection would have.

So while I still have a lot of work to do on this topic, and will likely still be running away from everything not facing my fears of failure or rejection, I hope that others can take her advice and just do it.  Take a deep breath and 10 seconds of insane courage and do it!