Life sure has a way of being ironic doesn’t it?!? 21 years ago I was a sophomore in college, one little mistake turned into something hugely life changing. I will never forget that day in July, sliding down the bathroom wall after seeing the positive sign on that test, crying like I never have before. How in the hell did this happen? Of course those feelings were quickly replaced with anticipation, joy and love.
Suddenly everything was about this little human I was growing. My body and my life was no longer just mine. Everything I did had the potential to impact this little boy. His life has been anything but easy. We have had many challenges and lots of things I just wasn’t prepared for. I learned many things about topics I never expected to have to know, and even became passionate about over time. I learned how to fight for someone who didn’t have the ability or even understanding to fight for himself. And with time I learned when to let go and hope that the skills he had been taught would carry him through.
A year ago I spent many hours agonizing over his upcoming departure to college three hours away. Feverishly trying to make sure accommodations were in place and hoping he had learned enough to be on his own. It was a tough year. Some huge growths and yet many realities of things that we were never going to be able to fully help him with.
He came home at the end of the school year and announced a few weeks later that he would not be returning to school. He has secured full time employment and done very well, even earning a promotion quickly. We began talking about his plan to move out on his own. Though it seems the best laid plans seem to change, so today the last of his things were packed up and off he goes.
So 21 years later I go from learning that I’m growing a little human to setting this one free. A simple hug and the knowledge that whatever has been done so far is done, and my role in his life is greatly changed. It makes me wonder what my dad thought when I told him I’d be moving out?!?
It’s amazes me to think how these events can bring about so much change. As I brought children into this world over the course of 10 years…I now begin the phase of letting them go….and then there was 5 and only 8 more years to go.